21-30: Blood Sugar Sex Magic to Speakerboxxx/The Love Below

21. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Blood Sugar Sex Magic

This is for Fred, wherever he is.

Fred was artistic, zany, and fun. We’d sit around or drive around and talk about nothing – which, at the time, meant everything to us – playing this album over and over, rapping along to even the B-sides: raunchy tunes like “Sir Psycho Sexy,” whose every obscenity I still know by heart. If any two people can truly have a song, this whole album belonged to us.

But after graduation, we drifted apart. He’s married now, with a couple of stepkids. His sister says he’s found religion.

I wonder if he still knows the words.

22. Weezer - The Blue Album

After the death of Kurt Cobain, I turned to Weezer for songs I could sing. Nerds like me had a new favorite band. After my arrival at Truman State University, I couldn’t turn a corner without hearing Weezer. Liberal arts kids loved that shit. Was it the jokes? The glasses? The sweaters? The fact that the singer was going to Harvard? Throughout my life, I’ve envied Rivers Cuomo: his effortless way with a powerful chorus, his unironic love of a blistering solo, his total domination of a three-minute form. Today, I remain a student of songcraft. Weezer continues giving advice.

23. Hole - Live Through This

Hate the singer. Love the songs. I crave them more than almost any others. Unless you were born around 1979 – plus or minus, what, two years? – and you couldn’t care less about the idea of “authenticity,” you’re probably like, “Really? You like this piece of shit?” and I’m like, “Yes, goddammit, I do.” It reminds me of the years when women used to scare me, as Courtney Love screamed her version of the truth. In fact, it reminds me of the last time I played it – way the hell back in 2007 – when women still scared the bejesus out of me.

24. Pink Floyd - The Wall

Pop Quiz

True/False

9) I like double albums, including ones with films.

10) If the music’s good, I only want more.

11) I don’t believe in downloading singles.

12) Basically, I’m a musical dinosaur.

Choose Your Own Adventure

13) You are an intern for Spin magazine. Your boss is the hippest person you’ve ever met. Her two favorite genres are indie rock and techno. Unfortunately, a Pink Floyd tribute band is the only band you’ve seen so far in New York.

Do you write a review and reveal that you’re a poser – or not write anything for Spin.com at all?

25. Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

Another double album! Yes!!

Perhaps this album is overindulgent. Perhaps Billy Corgan’s voice is too shrill. Perhaps these lyrics suggest a troubled mind – yes, for the writer, but also for the listener. Still, I’d defend this album as a masterpiece: one whose messiness keeps it cohesive, one whose obtuseness makes it understandable. The biggest CD by my peer group’s biggest band. Song for song, the grandest statement. Track for track, the greatest value. So many singles, dazzling in their difference. So much emotion, all of it dark. Even the font enhances the spookiness. Basically, no, I wouldn’t change a thing.

26. R.E.M. - Automatic for the People

I wouldn’t say I love R.E.M. Although I like them, very, very much, I usually forget to list them as a favorite. I don’t obsess over Michael Stipe’s lyrics. I probably own less than half of their albums. When I think of R.E.M., I think of other people: former band mates (for just one summer), former co-editors (for one whole year), who worshiped this band and cherished this album, who played it so often I missed it when they stopped. “Sweetness Follows?” It surely did. The sweetest and saddest reminder of friends, of nostalgia they probably don’t know they inspired.

27. Metallica - The Black Album

Some of my favorite Metallica moments: Hearing this album for the first time in middle school, at a party in the basement of a girl I had a crush on. Learning the notes to “Nothing Else Matters,” as taught by exchange students from Spain and Brazil. Cruising through St. Louis with my friend from Vietnam, rocking out to Metallica, Megadeth, and Beethoven. Seeing a roadie on fire at a show. Discussing the album’s production in grad school, all of us agreeing, “It’s pretty much perfect.” Hearing “Enter Sandman” at a piano bar this year. Sharing Pat Boone’s version with everyone.

28. Eminem - The Marshall Mathers L.P.

The Marshall Mathers Poem

Marshall Mathers poses problems
“Stan” (with Dido!) can’t resolve ‘em
Killing Kim and Chris Kirkpatrick
Wack? Offensive? Stupid? Classic?

Baffling critics, gaffling gays
Mothers sued and mothers slayed
Truthfulness or total fiction?
Damn, the dude has crazy diction

Marshall Mathers, entertainer
Kept a lawyer on retainer

I cannot defend myself
Keeping Marshall on the shelf
In between the best CDs
Of Missy E. And Eric B.

Even though we rap along
Put another record on
Put another rapper on
Who won’t pretend to rape his mom

Marshall Mathers made a million
Making music for the children?

29. The Notorious B.I.G. - Ready to Die

It took several years of (my) life after (his) death, but I finally understand why other rappers worship him. (I hate myself for dismissing him earlier.) It took several spins, but I worship him, too. (I hate the world for dismissing him early.) Believe the hype: Biggie Smalls is the illest, spitting with charm, charisma, and courage; spinning stories of shock and awww; mythologizing murder, mayhem, and Mom. I listen to Biggie like I watch Scorsese: savoring the stories, feeling the fiction, and disregarding my disbelief. Enter gangsta. Exit suburbia. (I’m Michael Bolton in Office Space, yo.) Vicarious villainy entertains everyone.

30. Outkast - Speakerboxxx/The Love Below

This album features everything I want: Minds expanding. Boundaries breaking. Rhythm. Melody. Wordplay. Humor. Politics. Religion. Friendship. Family. Love. Loss. Life. Pain. Joy. Bitterness. Art. Creation. Pop songs. Love songs. Battles. Jokes. Truth. Realness. Honesty. Fantasy. Stanky funk to shake your booty. Bangin’ beats to bob your head. Dre and Big Boi, still together, pushing, pulling, challenging, changing, daring, dreaming, enlightening, embracing... Hip-hop’s Beatles, hip-hop’s White Album, hip-hop for haters, hip-hop for all... Songs about vampires, Valentines, roosters... Church and war and boom! Amen. This album features everything I need.

– Best Beatles Albums: No. 5
– Best Prince Albums: No. 1

91-99: (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? to I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning

91. Oasis - (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?

If a band wants to pick a band to rip off, The Beatles are a better choice than most. You don’t have to be a virtuoso on your instrument, you don’t have to be a genius with your lyrics, and you don’t even have to enjoy your band mates’ company. All you need is love – and tunes. (Numerous Beatle references probably can’t hurt.) No band has ripped off The Beatles more blatantly than Oasis, so few have come as close to the early Beatles’ tunefulness. (Others are much more original about it.) Mind-sticking melodies + universal platitudes = this collection of cocksure classics.

92. Dave Matthews Band - Crash

I finally saw this band in concert, which means I saw them years too late. I really should’ve seen them in college or earlier, when I would’ve appreciated their jamming much more, instead of checking my watch on a work night. But at least I’m not sick of their songs anymore. In college, you see, their music was everywhere: every dorm room, every lawn, every open mic night in every campus coffeehouse... I never needed to play my copies, hearing everyone else’s every day. Now I can miss this band’s best work and hear it with fondness instead of dread.

93. Neil Young - Harvest

Reading reviews of Neil Young today, I’m struck by the claim that he almost sold out. What, because this album’s accessible, Young can’t be an iconoclast anymore? For someone who’s made a career out of changing, why wouldn’t this change also be acceptable? I don’t know, and I don’t care. It wouldn’t be the first time a "sellout" album spoke to me. I know I love the lyrics and melodies. I know I love how American it sounds, despite or because the artist is Canadian. I know I’d love to make such a statement, capturing the world in three-minute tunes.

94. The Who - Who’s Next

The best drum solo in all recorded history. The least cheesy use of a synthesizer ever. One of rock’s most famous screams. A cover with rock gods peeing on an obelisk. Yes, this album truly has it all. Despite or because it’s not a concept album, Who’s Next is more cohesive – and better – than Tommy. (Of course, at sixteen, I disagreed, vehemently.) Credit is due to Pete Townsend’s songcraft, which reaches its zenith on "Baba O’Riley," which pointedly articulates a strange "teenage wasteland." Exhibit A that words are overrated, but playing your heart out never, ever is. Play it loudly.

95. Hole - Celebrity Skin

"God, this guy has horrible taste. This shitty band appears on here twice? What about my favorite band? Or anyone more important than this? I’m sick of him praising this copycat crap. His stupid, indefensible, subjective beliefs... doesn’t he know how objectively they suck? I bet he’s gonna say he heard this in college, and its ‘bittersweet sound’ reminds him of something – emotions and feelings and homework and shit – or else he just likes it, you know? He likes it! I bet he’s not being contrarian either. He actually likes this shit unironically. This is something we have to debate."

96. Smashing Pumpkins - Adore

"Dude, we get it. You love the ‘90s. Since Billy’s the decade’s quintessential rock star, at least among those who didn’t die, you like him more than you can explain. Despite and because your moment has passed, you bought his comeback album, didn’t you? You claim to like it, but do you? Really? Isn’t it just a reclamation project, for Billy and you and everyone else, now that we’ve all moved on to other people – which, in your case, are quiet singer/songwriters? Thus, despite Adore’s techno touches, doesn’t it preview the stuff you like now? Quiet? Melodic? Wussy? It’s you!"

97. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication

"What, no Foo Fighters? Green Day? Sponge? Didn’t you mention The Toadies earlier? Weren’t you into Spacehog in college? I know you like to sing along – you’re probably a dork who likes to try to harmonize – so I guess this album is ‘perfect’ for that. I guess it’s loaded with ‘hummable tunes.’ I’m sure it reminds of you of people and places, since that’s what you seem to value in music, as well as its, I don’t know, ‘fiery fretwork,’ ‘lecherous grooves,’ and ‘lyrical gangsterdom.’

"You gave your game away too early. I’d write a poem, but you’d get surly."

98. Marvin Gaye - What’s Going On

Finally, an album that’s actually important, not just to me, but also to the world, as Marvin’s questions remain unanswered. What’s going on? Well, that one’s easy. War, greed, poverty, racism... the sorts of ills a pop song can’t cure. And that’s why Marvin’s asking why. If everyone knows what’s going on, why don’t we try to better this world? Why don’t we stop to listen to each other? If nothing else, we should listen to Marvin. Spreading love and soothing pain, Marvin’s voice comes close to breaking – all the hearts of everyone listening. Even his sighs convey the truth.

99. Bright Eyes - I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning

The newest and Dylan-est of all the "new Dylans," Conor Oberst transcends this lame shorthand. Sure, his band’s music is pure Americana, a mix of country, folk, and rock. Sure, he wields his pen like a sword, which actually makes his liner notes readable, to see if he really said what you heard. Dylan’s the best, but Conor’s just Conor, an artist who’ll inspire "new Conors" in the future. In a world of computers, he’s bringing wordplay back; you other troubadours don’t know how to act.

I still want someone to be the new me. Take that to the bridge.